Memories

A year ago today, I was sitting at my hotel room, watching through a window, a fireworks display nearby. I was full of hope, wonder and expectation. We just had close on the selling of our home and we were eager to start a new life on another state. Little did I know that those happy moments watching the bright lights exploding in the night sky were ushering the most painful experience of my life. It still hurts just to think about it, but there is healing power when we open up and talk (or write) about our pain.

This day brings up memories of a life lost. 23 years of building a home, a nest, and all that it conveys. In a couple of hours, we lost all that. A not too well thought plan, the glooming mortgage crisis, the cost of life, the lack of challenging jobs, all these together sent us on a frenzy that we could not stop. After all said and done, all we had, all we had accomplished in 23 years was gone. And just for 37,000 silver coins. That was the prize for selling our house. While sitting in that hotel room, I didn’t pay close attention at what we just did. I was happy, excited to see new places, to meet new people, to start anew in Colorado.

But things got downhill from there. The altitude was too much for my husband to the point that we had to leave 3 hours after we got there. It was painful for him even to take a breath. So we came back to Florida, to nothing. No house, no apartment, no belongings, just the things loaded in the SUV. We tried to rent an apartment, but in Florida, you need to earn 3 times the rent, and since my hubby was retired and me with no job, things turned bleak in a flash. So we stayed in hotels until I had enough and decided to come back home.

So here we are. We got to the island with 3 suitcases. That was all. All my memories, my trinkets, my junk, my photo albums, my books, even my Bible of 27 years was lost somewhere between Colorado and Florida. Even my beloved cat had to stay behind. Little by little, tear after tear, I’ve begin to realize I’m here to stay. Little by little I’m putting my life together. I cried every now and then, but I cannot dwell. I have to move on. My husband and daughter have taking these changes in stride, they are more positive than I am, but it will take sometime for me to recover.

On a positive note, we no longer have to pay a mortgage or insurance or property taxes. We have health insurance, which we didn’t in the states, my daughter is going to college, which she wouldn’t be able to do otherwise and we are among friends and family. Time will heal the wounds, I have no doubt about it. But today, as I sit here celebrating with my family, I could not helped but remember that fateful day last year when my world was turned upside down while the skies above exploded in a myriad of multicolor lights and my dreams and hopes evaporated like the smoke from the burnt fireworks

• » Fri-07/4/08 | cat: The Lady Chronicles